When we start a new relationship,
people start to feel hope, joy, feeling of
euphoria that pervades our daily
life and gives us the feeling
of fullness. As the relationship is consolidated, we find
in our partner to our friend, our loving and most importantly,
our life partner. Stop thinking about "we" and try
to think "me".
Therefore, when the break up comes and we separate ourselves from our partners, it is necessary to develop
a duel involving the
loss of that life partner,
and stop thinking that "we" and re-think "I". The end of a relationship is always traumatic and painful,
whether we who have ended the relationship as if it were our partner. Obviously, during this period, it is totally normal to
feel sadness, frustration, anger and guilt. We feel disoriented, with
low self esteem, and also experience
a series of stressful situations,
which not only make us feel worse,
but above all they do not help us to stop thinking
about it. The intensity of our
emotions and duration depend on
each and every situation:
attachment, causes of separation, of how
this end is interpreted
and the social life you have. At such times, we feel that
we will never recover and be normal,
that we will never be happy. But this duration it is just a passing
phase.
Although not all experience this process
in the same way, generally cross the following phases:
1. Disclaimer: We are in shock, and do
not accept what is happening.
2. Yearning and Search another: In
this phase, we accept the breakup,
but not emotionally. "We are not a couple anymore, but we still want to ". At this stage, usually seek
contact with others with whom you agree, events of
friends, phone calls, messages, social networking
... Often in this
phase behaviors of others as
signs of a possible reconciliation
misinterpreted, making this phase
time usually lasts
until the other person begins a new relationship, which is usually very
painful.
3. Frustration and Despair: In this phase, the break up is
accepted but it has a sense of
continuous discomfort. Feelings of melancholy and nostalgia, full of resentment
and guilt appear. The past is idealized and
blames everything and everyone for the breakup.
4. Disorganized and Despair:
In this phase the pain is very deep.
Awareness of reality is taken and
we arrive at feeling of real loss and loneliness. We do not feel excited about anything. This is
the worst stage of grief, because the person may tend to fill that void unprepared for this, with new partners, with harmful conduct, or
even going to mention the flaws of another person.
5. Conduct Reorganized: Return to the light to appear
at the end of the tunnel. You start to see the
future as a new opportunity, with
more optimism, and think break up
is not as painful. Feel less anger and
guilt, and have greater control
over oneself, since the situation
is perceived more objectively.
As in all difficult processes by which people go through certain feelings
and thoughts can become
chronic, becoming pathological and require professional help to overcome them.
Finally, remember that when a couple
is over, it is not
only an end; it is the beginning of
a new phase that will also bring
wonderful moments.
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